Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Past Pluto's Post (I of III)



  
Past Pluto’s Post
The Plea for Political Plurality

By: Al Spaulding

Part I of III



"The common and continual mischiefs of the spirit of party are sufficient to make it the interest and duty of a wise people to discourage and restrain it."



     The arena of election in the United States is likely quite different from what the Founding Fathers envisioned.  They realized politics is a gladiatorial battle royale for power, and thus strove to create a system that prevented demagoguery.  They wanted a free-for-all, discouraging powerful alliances in favor of popular persuasion through individual, self-affirming logic.

     Unfortunately, the free-for-all quickly congealed into two warring sides.  Two opposing political parties quickly became the norm in America and have fervently persisted.  

     Were the visionary creators of a truly innovative government uncharacteristically naive in regards to the institution of political parties?  Is this seemingly fundamental aspect of our democratic republic truly representative of liberty, justice, and the will of the citizenry?  Are we forever entrenched in the battle between Republicans and Democrats?

     Despite the apparent conflict between Republicans and Democrats, an exclusive two-party system is desirable for both to the detriment of the citizenry.



A More Perfect Disunion

     Dividing stances on topical issues and making clear (although imperfect) distinctions allows politics to be comprehensible and approachable.  It’s us or them.  In rational discourse, this is called a ‘false dichotomy’: reducing a multi-faceted issue into a binary.  In other words, ignoring a host of variables to inaccurately force a “yes or no.”  The average person can’t afford to scrounge through all the facts and opinions regarding every issue, facilitating this false dichotomy.  Who can blame us?  Politics and platforms are convoluted, prompting the attraction of a clear choice.  Most of us don’t feel passionate about every issue.

     It is not difficult to imagine how an ambitious party takes a political stand on a novel issue, prompting the opposing party to assert a contrary position.  Every action creates an equal and opposite reaction.  A political platform is thus formed as a series of issues are addressed.

     While it is kind of ‘chicken-or-the-egg’ as to how the dichotomy is made, it’s the making of it that is favorable for both parties. This is when the "house divided" quote becomes relevant.

     Neither party need fear the other’s perpetual incumbency; as soon as any negative effect occurs, popular support will shift away from the former majority party.  Thereby the political pendulum is established.  Either party can pursue expansive legislation and power because, yes, this will sour the public opinion, but they need only be patient until the rivaling side does the same and brings the moderate voters flocking back.

     Let’s break it down hypothetically, keeping in mind that a simplistic reduction of politics does not encapsulate all of its nuances:

     Group A gains popular support and a position of power.  They do what they can until either (1) they go too far, or (2) Group B gains support due to a novel stance on a topic.  Group A then loses a majority of the public’s support, so Group A responds with a smear campaign and a strong, opposing stance on the topic.  Thus, Group A eventually regains popular support and the pendulum swings again.

     This is why voters commonly say picking a “better” candidates is really just going with “the lesser of two evils.”

     I would like to encourage you to dispose of this choice between two evils, this duopoly.

     The two parties don’t want any more parties on the scene… at least, not a party that draws away moderates or loyal constituents.  More parties would divide up the real estate of power, diminishing holdings.  That’s one reason why Republicans dislike the Constitution Party, Democrats dislike the Green Party, and why both dislike the Libertarian Party.  Libertarians very legitimately draw voters away from the two established powers… just not many moderate voters (more on this later).

     The political pendulum may sound par for the course; however, don’t be lured into thinking the norm is what’s ideal or even inevitable.  The simple, dichotomous divide is artificial. It is not – despite what incumbent politicians, pundits, and other vested interests may proclaim – the only way.  

     For a functional alternative, let us turn our eyes to the Federal Republic of Germany.
          
     Germany has six political parties with seats in its Bundestag (the equivalent to the U.S.' House of Representatives).  Yes, these parties have joined forces at times to form coalitions, but the alliances have been temporary.  Voters in Germany’s government, as in any multi-party system, have a greater array of choice than their American counterparts.  


     While the effectiveness of having no political parties is up for debate, keep in mind the Founding Fathers espoused a nonpartisan system.  A nonpartisan nation is one in which no political parties exist.  I imagine there was much heated debate among the creators of the Constitution on this point, but by establishing the rights to free speech and assembly it then would’ve been hypocritical to make parties illegal.  Though it is technically permissive of a multi-party or nonpartisan government, the United States is in reality a bipartisan system.

     The multi-party system is still an artificial design, but it is a more accurate representation of the public’s diverse beliefs and priorities.  Counterarguments can be raised regarding inherent differences between other countries’ politics, cultures, demographics, etc. when compared to the United States, but they don’t detract from the very real possibility viability of a different system in the U.S. 

     The Founding Fathers did not develop a new government in isolation – they borrowed heavily from past philosophies and practices.  It is easy to dismiss the idea of potential change when comparing governments, citing significant differences.  However, we would do well to remember that the fledgling American Constitution was far removed from its inspirations.  For example, ancient Greece: the tall white columns of our governmental buildings are testament to this influence.

     A government is created out of the necessity to bring together a variety of locations, beliefs, and systems under a common set of rules.  It is not the duty of a government to eliminate every outlier into a planetary alignment of perfect conformity.  Excessive restriction of expression and action is not simply immoral.  It is impractical.  Monocultures tend to have deleterious effects.  We therefore should mold our government to our benefit.

     As an institutionalized community, we must collectively strive to balance our similarities with our differences.


     If you are interested in learning more about the shortcomings of our political system, I highly recommend the CGP video series, "Politics in the Animal Kingdom".  These short, comprehensive explanations regarding systems of representation greatly inspired me to address this topic.



"There is nothing which I dread so much as a division of the republic into two great parties, each arranged under its leader, and concerting measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble apprehension, is to be dreaded as the greatest political evil under our Constitution."
- John Adams  





Saturday, July 16, 2016

Taiwanese Trash Nocturne




     Through the chorus of traffic and cicadas a cheerful lilt catches the ear:  a melodic rendition of Beethoven's "Für Elise" echoes around building corners.  People leave their homes and congregate under street lamps, chatting up the neighbors in easy anticipation.  Though the evening swelters, they are not out in pursuit of an icy treat (as the American palate whets in response to the jingle); instead, these folk are wielding bags of various materials.

     The source of music pulls into view, a convoy of two sizable vehicles.  At the vanguard is a garbage truck.  The people approach and the first bags of the night are unloaded, blue, full of useless trash, tossed into the maw of the compactor.  Simultaneously, the garbagemen unload large bins, which the eager audience then queues up to attend.  Over these bins the bags are upturned and emptied, revealing their contents: food waste, either to be composted or used as swine feed.

     At this point attention is turned to the second truck.  Less messy than its predecessor, it is full of compartments.  The gathered people bring their bags of plastics, metals, and various recyclables to a diligent sorter - that is, only after passing the watchful eye of any enterprising citizens who guard the path to the truck, appropriating the most valuable good for themselves.  In some areas, these scrappers will take the bags from busy residents, divvy of the goods, leave the sorted materials for the collectors, and take the best stock as payment.  Their prizes can be sold to nearby recycling centers.

     As they finish their orderly embarkations, the Taiwanese attendees say their formalities and disperse.  Having unloaded their disposables to the the city and their dramas to the neighbors, they return to their dwellings, their civic duties satisfied.  The bustle of the moment fades with the crowd.

     The convoy, complete in its humble processing, resumes its lullaby and takes off around the bend to visit further diligent citizens.  Tomorrow will invite the evanescent carnival's return.  Until then, the music of cicadas and taxi horns again denotes the atmosphere.

     Only the cleanliness of the street is left to extol this peppy procedure.



Monday, June 6, 2016

To Health




I realize this begins as a bit of a self-centered post, but as far as a information goes I think it is important to incorporate my philosophy into an approach to health and nutrition.  The specifics I mention have been researched to varying degrees, and I must apologize that I am not going to link everything.  Coming from an undergraduate social/agricultural science background, I've only done minimal actual research in anything, though I am well versed in the need for sourcing (which is why I apologize for not linking anything).  My concept of health extends holistically, incorporating community and environment.  I'm a hippy at heart, so I suppose you might factor that into your evaluations of my practices.

Multiple people have mentioned Tim Ferriss a number of times in regards to living successfully.  He has recurred in conversation among so many people I respect, I can't think of why I don't listen to his podcast more.  My go-to podcast is Joe Rogan.  From him, I have learned of people like Jocko Wilink (a former SEAL who I go to for motivation), Dr. Rhonda Patrick (who I go to for nutrition), and Aubrey Marcus (a Tim Ferriss analogue, focusing on holistic health).  When these people (and others) have appeared on Rogan's podcast, they have brought up topics such as ketogenesis, curcumin anti-inflammation, fasting, etc.  I think there is a lot of overlap between Ferriss and Rogan.

To return to the hippy comment... I believe the best way to incorporate nutrition is to do so via natural forms, since that is how we evolved.  I believe anything we can do to mimic the lifestyle of hominids that came for hundreds of thousands of years before us is the best standard for health.  Of course, modern medicine has improved drastically upon a huge number of things; I simply seek out my health through the most raw means possible.  That means I'll spend an hour in sunlight instead of taking a Vitamin D pill.  I don't think there's anything wrong with taking pills, per se, it's simply not my preference.  I believe vitamins from fresh produce are more bioavailable than in synthesized pill form.  When I say believe, that means it's my own philosophy not necessarily substantiated by anything I've read.

By the way, I don't really follow the paleo or any specific diet.

NOW... to the nitty gritty of my approach to nutrition.  I'll list the components I value and how I get them.


Nutrition

Antioxidants: tea, high% chocolate
-- this speaks for itself.  My grandparents drink a glass or two of wine every night and they are sharp as tacks at around 90.  I don't drink small, consistent doses of red wine, though I might if I have the means.  As for tea, I start my day with red/black and transition to green.  I don't currently drink white tea, but it seems suitable for late afternoon.  After that I drink herbal tea (namely chamomile), which I know doesn't have the same antioxidant properties.  Also, something something something roobios?  I've heard it mentioned among keto people.

Fiber: legumes (lentils), flax seed, daily greens!!!
-- in a recent analysis of a very popular fitness app, it was discovered the people who best achieved their health goals all had higher levels of fiber intake.  I think I just found a great source of fresh milled flax seed, which I'm super excited about.  I have a little market near my flat where I go to get fresh greens everyday.  The other day I was eating what look to be sweet potato greens.  I washed them (sometimes add vinegar/oil) and eat them raw.  I'm blessed with a resilient digestive system and have had no problems so far.
-- http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/eat-like-successful-myfitnesspal-user/

Nutrients/Vitamins: daily greens!!!, fresh produce, sprouts/microgreens
-- there really is no substitute for fresh produce.  Besides greens, I buy fresh tomatoes, bananas (which no one will every convince me to part with), and whatever other vegetables are in season.  I am just beginning to grow my own sprouts and microgreens in my apartment from legumes and maybe some grains.

Protein: eggs, legumes, sprouts, fish (raw tuna)
-- this is one of those things I should have sources on, but I've read that a high protein diet helps with stored bodily fat reduction; however, I know an excess of protein is unhealthy. I have an egg for almost every meal; my grandfather eats two eggs for every breakfast and is about 90 (of course, genetics are important).  Egg yolks are also relatively abundant in lecithin.  Having only recently realized what they are at the Asian markets, I now exclusively consume duck eggs.  In the future, I plan on getting my eggs from the nearby Organic Farmer's Market on weekends.  Regarding legumes, my go-to are lentils.  Fresh fish is tricky, but I've yet to have a problem with supermarket tuna, which I consume raw... goodbye sushi!

Omega 3: fish, flax seed, nuts
-- I know walnuts are best for O-3s, but they are expensive.  As an aside, I don't currently eat much chia, but that may change.

Probiotics: "kefir" liquid yogurt, kombucha
-- another thing I should have sources for... I have read that natural probiotics help in relation to fiber consumption, though I can't remember how.  The most readily available probiotic source where I am is what;s called "kefir" in the USA, which I see here most abundantly as under the brand 'AB [liquid] Yogurt'.  Two things about liquid yogurt have recently been called to my attention... (1) mass-produced dairy implements enormous quantities of antibiotics, which may negatively effect my chronic inflammation, gut microbiome, etc., and (2) mass-produced dairy may also be bad for hyperthyroidism, which I am at great risk for.  I only have a sip of yogurt at meals, so hopefully the effects aren't too bad.
-- I am in contact with someone with a kombucha business here in Taipei.  He is on vacation, but will return in a couple weeks.  Kombucha is a fermented tea; there is little research on it, but it could have all the benefits of tea, vinegar, and wine (it tastes like a blend of the three).  Plus, I love it.

Anti-inflammatory: turmeric (with black pepper and milk/fat), ginger, garlic
-- actually, there are a number of other things I use to combat my genetic, chronic inflammation, but these are the main focal points.  It is important to note that curcumin, the active ingredient in turmeric, may be exponentially more effective when paired with freshly ground black pepper and fat.  I make a delightful ginger, turmeric, black pepper, milk tea with no sugar.  It's probably distasteful to many people, but I relish it.

Sleep: valerian, chamomile
-- someone recently asked how important sleep is to me.  Sleep is absolutely, undisputably essential to well-being.  Chamomile tea an hour before bed along with a valerian supplement enables quick, deep, restful sleep.  Evidently, hops are also good.  No wonder I sleep so long after a night at the bar.

Other: some vinegar, EVOO, garlic, onion, ginger
-- vinegar... a little to preserve my prepared food, since I don't use salt.  Also, may help with blood sugar.
-- Extra Virgin Olive Oil... yay oleic acid!
-- garlic...  I incorporated raw garlic years ago on a whim and found that my skin became totally clear.  When I do it consistently, I get comments about having "glowing" skin.  Garlic is metabolized similar to alcohol, so it comes out the pores and kills the bad stuff in the dermis.
-- onion... I began eating raw onion during my Europe backpacking trip on days I didn't have enough money for food.  I eat it raw or cooked in just about everything.  Feels good, man.
-- ginger... digestion.  May help me to sleep.  Testosterone benefits, perhaps?
---- many of these items have anti-microbial properties.  May promote a health gut microbiome, too.

Unsure: quinoa, coconut oil
-- I flip flop on quinoa.  I've found a cheap organic source, so I may use it sparingly.  Coconut oil I've never committed too, especially with so much talk about inflammation.

Soon to incorporate:
-- bugleweed for hyperthyroidism, which is prevalent on both sides of my family
-- milk thistle for a healthy liver


Lifestyle
An overview to how I approach holistic health.  Gonna speed up here

- no added sugar, minimize sugar (can't stop bananas)

- fresher = better... nutrients decompose over time

- nut butter... I use my blender to make butter from flax, peanuts, sesame, walnuts, you name it.  A delicious smoothie base starts with ice, banana, nut butter and you can add anything, especially greens.  Yogurt if too thick.

- no salt/sodium... I have pre-hypertension, my father has severe hypertension as did his father, I am genetically predisposed.  Vinegar instead of salt.

- minimal red meat... this is mostly for environmental reasons due to the impacts CAFOs (concentrated animal feeding operation) and mass-produced husbandry have on the environment. I read somewhere that lentils are the most protein-resource efficient food, meaning lowest input (water, fertilizer, etc.) to highest protein output.  Also, I'm wary of antibiotics for inflammation and gut microbiome reasons.

- "cook" less... heat destroys nutrients in food, eat raw when I can

- exercise... this is where I start transitioning away from food.  Exercise is essential to nutrient incorporation and rejuvenating sleep, among so many other benefits: cardiovascular, brain function, longevity, the list goes on forever.  Like Elliot Hulse says, it's not the method of exercise that matters, it's the habit.  He recommends a minimum thirty minute walk every day, quarter of an hour out, quarter of an hour back.
-- on a Tim Ferriss article about ketosis, the "Habits for Highly Effective Living" highlight daily exercise/movement and meditation
-- http://fatburningman.com/tim-ferriss-what-ketosis-does-to-your-brain-why-hes-not-doing-crossfit-and-how-to-evaluate-your-husband/

- meditation... the benefits from meditation can be similar to exercise in many ways (though obviously nothing to do with nutrient consumption).  These include improved sleep, improved mental health/functioning/longevity, overall vitality and alertness.  There is so much research out there now, it is really amazing.  I have done it off and on for years, initially to help me sleep.  For the last month, I have done a 30min sit six out of seven days.

- weekly fast... the newest addition to my arsenal, but potent.  I started it for discipline reasons, but found that when paired with meditation its like an espresso epidural throughout the week.  To answer the potential question, fasting hours include sleep (that's why it's called "breakfast"... break fast).  My 36 hour fast, inspired by John Romaniello and Aubrey Marcus's company 'Onnit', starts conservatively a half hour after breakfast on Sunday and ends after my post-workout protein shake on Monday night.  Tea gets me through the days.  I'm personally wary of purported benefits of any fasts lasting less than 24hr.

- binaural beats...  again, I started for sleep reasons and am expanding it from there.  I'm not totally sold on this practice yet, but it's good white noise when there is a lot of distracting activity around.  Supposedly can help for any level of alertness you desire.

- healthy socialization... across all cultures that have the longest living people, the biggest factors for longevity are fresh food, exercise, and a strong social network.

- creativity.. to promote brain health and purposefulness (another huge factor in longevity), I write and perennially try to learn the guitar.


There you go. an overview of how I approach a healthy life.  Got a bit rushed at the end, so I'm always happy to answer questions.


Thanks for reading!



Saturday, February 20, 2016

"Shaun of the Dead" as a metaphor for Self-Actualization




Warning: spoilers


     The zeitgeist (zeitzombie?) film "Shaun of the Dead" not only sticks its tongue out and puts its arm around the shoulders of the horror genre, it conspires to portray achievement over the contemporary creative struggle for fulfillment.  Writer/director Edgar Wright and writer/lead Simon Pegg have collaborated to use time-honored storytelling techniques to both entertain and encourage.

     The film opens on a shot of Shaun (Pegg) gazing vacantly into the camera while The Specials' "Ghost Town" plays on the jukebox of his favorite pub, The Winchester, thus establishing Shaun as the central character who's life is stuck.  This scene ingeniously establishes the framework of both the film's style and its use of metaphor.  Shaun is taking a sip from a freshly pulled beer while the bartender shouts for last call.  From Shaun we are then introduced to his girlfriend, Liz, his best friend, Ed, and Liz's dating roommates, Dianne and David.  Each of the characters represents an archetype or aspect of the psyche; the group's discussion regarding Shaun and Liz's stale relationship is akin to chattering voices in Shaun's head, the hero wanting to become a hero but paralyzed by his weaknesses.  Using Shaun as our axis of the 'Self', let's examine the influences of the other characters.

     Liz is Shaun's call to action.  She is tired of falling into a routine of returning to the same dreary pub with the unwanted companionship of the other characters.  Liz is the dreamer within the hero, the one who wants to become the best that the one true Self can be.  She aspires to break free of the drudgery, but she can't do it without Shaun's ability, the hero's free will.  She recognizes the other characters, the vices, for what they are: obstacles... even if they can be charming.

     That brings us to Ed.  Shaun and Ed are constantly together, which annoys Liz.  Ed is comical, yet churlish, childish, and egocentric.  Ed represents Shaun's immaturity, as the life-long friends love to get drunk, play videogames, and listen to old music.  Ed is Peter Pan - an antiquated, illusory ideal.  The Self wants to hold on to an easy life without responsibility and work.  The hero can't develop until he lets go of the past.  There is an inherent tension in the girlfriend-bestfriend relationship that tears the hero apart, which is employed to showcase the mundane comfort that Shaun clings to while still yearning for the difficult commitment needed to become the Higher Self.

     Dianne is a "failed actress" and her boyfriend, David, is a critic of sorts (who apparently has some affinity for architecture).  Dianne wears gaudy makeup and clothes, making her a caricature, a bastardization of the actualized Self.  While cheery and seemingly harmless, she contributes no real worth, has no real substance.  She is a wannabe artist/hero.  Dianne is probably a comment on the real Simon Pegg's occupation as an actor.  David is a wimpy, whiny, hanger-on who is constantly second-guessing and undercutting Shaun, representing the Self's doubt.  This doubtful figure naysays the hero without ever taking positive action.  David is unyielding in his rebukes of Shaun, constantly dragging the hero down and holding him back.

     The bickering of heads culminates with Shaun promising that he will make a change so that things will be different, even with the scene ending exactly as it began: Shaun again taking a sip from a new beer, staring vacantly as the bartender shouts that time is up.  The Self wants to make a change but is still stuck in the old routine.

     The scene snaps to the opening credits, an upbeat tune playing while we observe cuts between various groups of people.  People doing repetitious activities in the service industry, people waiting at the bus stop, people uniformly nodding their heads to the la-la melody.  We will see many of these briefly observed characters later in the film when they appear again as zombies.  We therefore establish the analogy of the zombie: slaves to the system, the mindless masses who have fallen into the trap that endangers the hero.  Because guess what?  Shaun begrudgingly rides the bus to his job as an appliance salesman, often reminiscing of his university days as a DJ.

     It's at this point that we meet Pete, the third roommate in the house with Shaun and Ed.  Pete has a successful office job, yet is easily enraged.  Pete has succumbed to the cultural norm and is frustrated because of it, easily annoyed by his roommates.  While Ed sells weed and plays videogames, Pete works long and hard hours, and the two are constantly at odds.  Shaun is a kind of synthesis of the two; the house is where the Self lives, the divided Self.  Each of the roommates represents a failure for Shaun: Ed the flippant, unmotivated flop and Pete the overly-serious submission to external expectations.

     It's worth mentioning the small role that buildings have as a storytelling device.  Buildings can confine people, they are often imprisoning institutions within culture, though they can also be necessary expressions of residence.  The messy, chaotic house is the untamed brain.  The Winchester pub is the Self's sense of comfort and conformity.  The unopened shed in the garden is where latent traits of the Self can be stored without being completely discarded.  The single line that mentions David's love of architecture speaks to how doubt yearns to wall up the Self.

     As zombies start to appear, Liz's call to action requires a choice by the hero: to progress to Self-Actualization or become a brainless drone.  Shaun blindly stumbles through his routine, eventually running into Yvonne, an old friend.  Yvonne has moved into a nearby neighborhood, actually buying her own place.  She has the kind of success that Shaun wants, not Pete's.  Yvonne is an empowered fusion of Liz the dreamer and Shaun the decision-maker (Shaun the Self, the acting body, the one who pulls the trigger).  Yvonne is a guide, the Higher Self, implemented in the story to illustrate Shaun's shortcomings, yet spur him on to greatness.

     As Shaun becomes consciously aware of the zombie threat, he rushes to save those close to him.  He must first save his mum, Barbara, who is married to the undesirable step-father, Philip.  Barbara is flighty, showcasing the influence passiveness has on the Self.  Philip, on the other hand, is bossy.  Shaun perceives him as domineering and undercuts him.  Philip represents authority and the hero is loathe to submit.  Luckily for Shaun, Philip gets bitten by a zombie.  The death of Philip means Shaun can now internalize his authority and man-up to responsibility.  His demonizing of Philip and external pressure was only an excuse to hold himself back.

     Shaun now travels on foot with Liz, Barbara, Dianne, David, and Ed to the Winchester.  They are passed by Yvonne's crew (who are comparatively better prepared) and eventually make it to the pub.  With the electricity out, the group begin to bicker again, David trying to assert leadership.  Shaun barricades himself within this comfort zone while having to quell the loud voice of doubt.  The group, looking for levity, compels Ed to do his famous orangutan impersonation.  He resists and resists, eventually shouting, "I'm not a performing monkey!"  It's at this point that the electricity returns and the lights come on.  Light is repeatedly used as a device to illustrate enlightenment.  Shaun is coming to terms with his meaningful, internal motivations.

     The return of power becomes a double-edged occurrence as attention is called to the pub and the zombies begin invading.  Barbara, David, and Dianne all fall to the influence of the zombies, leaving Shaun, Liz, and a bitten Ed to retreat to the last bastion of the pub: the cellar.  It is in this deepest, darkest place they are closest to destruction.  With two bullets left, Shaun nearly uses them to eliminate Liz and himself, hope and choice.  However, the illumination from a Bic lighter shows another way out:  they can escape certain doom by leaving the familiar comfort zone, breaking free of the small enclosed space, getting away from the place of comfort Shaun has always returned to, and venture forth into the open, unknown world.  To do this Shaun must abandon Ed, abandon the past that holds him back.  Shaun makes the decision, and arises out of the cellar.  Right as he and Liz brace themselves to face the horde, to work their way forward, floodlights burst on and the military begins to destroy the walking dead, the troops arrive to save the day, called upon thanks to Yvonne, the Higher Self having come to save the hero.

     This is the central thesis.  If we choose to leave behind our weaknesses and instead partner with our hopeful dreams to commit to our personal work, then our Higher Self will emerge to achieve a true life.

     The epilogue of the film shows Shaun and Liz living happily together in Shaun's now tidy and appealing house.  Shaun has actualized his success.  The hero is happy.  He even allows himself to visit the garden shed where he houses zombie Ed.  He has appropriately compartmentalized his youthfulness and the story comes to a satisfying conclusion.

     "Shaun of the Dead" is a thoroughly entertaining movie.  Its quick wit and cleverness belies the deeply motivational message that makes this a timeless story.  This piece of fried gold is worth re-watching.



It wasn't easy work reading through this essay, I'm sure, but hopefully it was as rewarding for the audience as it was for the writer.  Thanks!



Sunday, February 14, 2016

Short story: Grumps






“Grump.”
This proclamation was uttered by a small, bewildered creature rising from a wallow-hole.   Its muddy head chased away the last trails of fog that had hung around after dawn.
It was not alone.  
Another creature’s eyes poked up, “grump,” followed by a third party, “grump.”  
The Grumpers were normally placid fellows, having no natural predators.  However, that didn’t stop an envious Grumper from occasionally beating a fellow Grumper into an organic mess in search of a more suitable wallow-hole.  Sometimes a Grumper would drown in its own wallow-hole if it fell asleep the wrong way.  Once, a Grumper even died after falling from a height.  Such casualties were abnormal, and the lives of these three Grumpers was like that of Grumpers everywhere: wallowing in their wallow-holes and grumping proudly at each other.  
Our first Grumper was a particularly vigorous grumper, and true to its name it spoke up again.  
“Grump.”  
The cadence and tone of its grump was alarming to the other two Grumpers, or rather, as alarming as anything can be for a Grumper, and they agreed with a “grump” and a “grump.”  
The trio were oriented in the same direction, not looking at each other.  Overhead, the sun was racing from morning to midday, soon to be evening.  This Grumpday was as long or as short as any other, yet was quickly becoming extraordinary.  
The grumpiest Grumper was now determined to make a statement.  His next “Grump” was accompanied with a hop.  
“Grump!”  
This sort of bold exclamation neatly stunned the other two Grumpers.  
This instigator was indeed a shameless Grumper, for it repeated, “Grump!” and hopped again.  Not to be outdone, the second Grumper volunteered a “Grump!” and a hop.  
Spurred on by the others, the last Grumper joined in and pretty soon all three were hopping and grumping.  “Grump grump grump!  Grump!  Grump grump!  Grump grump grump!  Grump!”  
The first Grumper, now thoroughly inspired, filled its airsacs with air and bellowed, nearly bouncing out of its wallow-hole, “GRUMP!  GRUMP!  GRUMP!  GRUMP!”  
Past the point of reason, the other two Grumpers feverishly joined in.  “GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP,” and with nary a variance in cadence nor tone they continued tirelessly, “GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GR---“

“SILENCE!”

a silvery voice cut through the chant.
Before the three Grumpers loomed an enormous figure, darkened in silhouette as the sun set behind it.  The Grumpers, having followed instructions, sat in astonishment.  One of them had an urge to grump, but managed to swallow it.
There in front of them was the largest Grumper they could have ever imagined.  As large as a hundred Grumpers, it was even more peculiar in regard to its exodermal layer, which was not the normal color of wallow-hole mud like any other Grumper, but glistened like the sun shining off the water of a particularly beautiful wallow-hole.  This new, magnificent Grumper stirred and spoke again.
“I am King Grump!  All other Grumpers are but shadows of my likeness.”
This was a stunning declaration and the smaller Grumpers listened intently.
“There are two kinds of Grumpers in this world: those that get grumped and those that do the grumping.  For ages, we Grumpers have been cast down by our circumstances, but no longer!  No longer, I say, for the evolution of Grumpers is reaching its zenith and soon our kind will achieve its truest potential.  As we have grumped about in these squalid conditions, we have perpetrated our own grumpy incarceration.  That time is over!”
King Grump raised its impressive visage to the starry sky, constellations dancing in its eyes.
“Join me, my fellow Grumpers!  I have a vision for a vast and wonderful Kingdom of Grump.  Alone we are but enemies unto ourselves, yet together we can create a world – nay, a universe! – the kind of which has never before existed!  No Grumper shall ever suffer again!  Let our airsacs sing with a voice united! Join me, my friends, join me!”
King Grump looked back down at them expectantly.  The smaller Grumpers were speechless.  
From beside King Grump a girl (being wholly alien to the poor Grumpers) giggled.  
“I think you scared them, Aux,” she said.
“Not true,” replied King Grump, looking towards her, “they are simply enchanted by my radiance.”
The Grumper trio looked back and forth between the two figures as the creatures exchanged words.  None offered a grump.
“They obviously don’t understand a thing you’ve said,” the girl chided playfully.
“Ye of little faith!”  King Grump huffed, turning back towards the wallow-holes.  “All in favor of joining my kingdom, say, “Grump!””
The Grumpers were silent.
The girl laughed again and began to float off the ground.  “I’m getting tired, Aux, let’s go back to the ship.”  She spun in the air and shot straight up.
King Grump peered over his reluctant domain for a moment.  Unimpressed, he filled his airsacs with air for one final statement.


“GRUMP!”

And with that he disappeared into the dawn, leaving the lesser Grumpers to cower bewildered in their wallow-holes amongst the early morning trails of fog.



___

Thanks for reading!





Friday, January 29, 2016

Animals of East/Central Texas




I'm compiling a list of all the wild animals I've encountered in these Texan woods.


Arthropods

  • Striped Bark scorpion (venomous)
  • Fairy shrimp
  • Crawfish
  • Wasps (venomous)

Reptiles
  • Eastern Coachwhip snake
  • Coral snakes (the most venomous snake in North America)
  • Copperhead snake (venomous)
  • Hognose snake (only venomous to small animals)
  • Red-eared Slider turtles

Mammals
  • Feral hogs 
  • White-tailed deer
  • Possums
  • Armadillos

Birds
  • Crows
  • Woodpeckers (Pileated, Red-headed, and possibly others)
  • Red-tailed hawks
  • Turkey vultures
  • Sandhill cranes
  • Great White herons


... and many more.  To be updated...


Posted: January 29, 2016



Sunday, January 17, 2016

A Scratching Post




     I was today walking through the woods on a day off, treating my senses to the array of natural happenings.  Most often of these walks I become introspective and after a while I found myself nibbling on my fingernails.  This is a distasteful habit, I agree, so I balled up my hands with the resolve to clip the chitinous edges when I returned home.  It wasn’t long before my thoughts strayed and with them my fingers to teeth.  Just then, as I was about to step over a fallen log, a flicker of inspiration alighted.  Bending over, I began to vigorously run my fingernails over the exposed log.  The log was a trunk of hardwood, quite possibly an oak, which initial decay had stripped of its bark.  I was tactile-ly gratified by the naked tree.

     All true discoveries are imitations of nature.  Is rubbing one’s fingernails over wood really so strange?  Behold the arch of a cat as it sinks its claws into a suitable material before yanking feverishly upon it.  Bears do the same; great gouges in bark are memorial to this happy practice.  Even dogs will shred the right ground with a silly grin, getting their rocks off, prancing in place, getting their footing like a baseballer preparing their batting stance, cutting a rug, and really and truly going for it. 

     Let me tell you, the feeling is delightful.  Having worked off some rough edges thanks to the oak, I continued my trek.  Coming quickly upon a lightening-stricken pine, I couldn’t resist – this one, too, unsheathed.  An upright tree was equally worthwhile.  Along the pine’s fibrous flesh were traced sapsucker bores.  These meandering lines provided a finishing relief, allowing my finger to catch gently with each scratch.  Tantalizing.  While scratching, I imagined our ancestors doing the same.  Men and women of ancient forests circled in conversation, running their fingers across the logs they’re sat.  Soon, my fingertips were worked properly down.  The result of this session was smooth, even nails.  The urge to pick was gone. 

     Not all substrates are the same.  A surface that is too soft deposits debris under the nails.  An edge that is too unforgiving can cause discomfort.  I would like to experiment with different materials.  I suspect the right kind of stone would do nicely, perhaps a river rock. 

     The satisfaction of a good scratch is analogous to stretching a stiff muscle.  Not only is the act of scratching satisfactory, but also receiving.  Just the thought of a head scratch raises bumps on my skin.

     I suppose many will scoff or blanch at my proposition… to which I say: be whimsical.  Try new things.  Do what feels right.  What harm could come?

     And while you’re out caressing trees, I highly recommend pine needles for cleansing hands.  Grab a bunch of pine straw and rub it over your dirty paws; it will take soil clean off.  There is the added benefit of the resinous aroma being caught in your palms.  Give it a go.



Thank you, everyone, for entertaining my weirdness.
Really, though, isn’t is stranger still we call small pictures “thumbnails”?