Short story: Grumps

“Grump.”

This proclamation was uttered by a small, bewildered creature rising from a wallow-hole.   Its muddy head chased away the last trails of fog that had hung around after dawn.

It was not alone.  

Another creature’s eyes poked up, “grump,” followed by a third party, “grump.”  

The Grumpers were normally placid fellows, having no natural predators.  However, that didn’t stop an envious Grumper from occasionally beating a fellow Grumper into an organic mess in search of a more suitable wallow-hole.  Sometimes a Grumper would drown in its own wallow-hole if it fell asleep the wrong way.  Once, a Grumper even died after falling from a height.  Such casualties were abnormal, and the lives of these three Grumpers was like that of Grumpers everywhere: wallowing in their wallow-holes and grumping proudly at each other.  

Our first Grumper was a particularly vigorous grumper, and true to its name it spoke up again.  

“Grump.”  

The cadence and tone of its grump was alarming to the other two Grumpers, or rather, as alarming as anything can be for a Grumper, and they agreed with a “grump” and a “grump.”  

The trio were oriented in the same direction, not looking at each other.  Overhead, the sun was racing from morning to midday, soon to be evening.  This Grumpday was as long or as short as any other, yet was quickly becoming extraordinary.  

The grumpiest Grumper was now determined to make a statement.  His next “Grump” was accompanied with a hop.  

“Grump!”  

This sort of bold exclamation neatly stunned the other two Grumpers.  

This instigator was indeed a shameless Grumper, for it repeated, “Grump!” and hopped again.  Not to be outdone, the second Grumper volunteered a “Grump!” and a hop.  

Spurred on by the others, the last Grumper joined in and pretty soon all three were hopping and grumping.  “Grump grump grump!  Grump!  Grump grump!  Grump grump grump!  Grump!”  

The first Grumper, now thoroughly inspired, filled its airsacs with air and bellowed, nearly bouncing out of its wallow-hole, “GRUMP!  GRUMP!  GRUMP!  GRUMP!”  

Past the point of reason, the other two Grumpers feverishly joined in.  “GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP,” and with nary a variance in cadence nor tone they continued tirelessly, “GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GRUMP GR---“

“SILENCE!”

a silvery voice cut through the chant.

Before the three Grumpers loomed an enormous figure, darkened in silhouette as the sun set behind it.  The Grumpers, having followed instructions, sat in astonishment.  One of them had an urge to grump, but managed to swallow it.

There in front of them was the largest Grumper they could have ever imagined.  As large as a hundred Grumpers, it was even more peculiar in regard to its exodermal layer, which was not the normal color of wallow-hole mud like any other Grumper, but glistened like the sun shining off the water of a particularly beautiful wallow-hole.  This new, magnificent Grumper stirred and spoke again.

“I am King Grump!  All other Grumpers are but shadows of my likeness.”

This was a stunning declaration and the smaller Grumpers listened intently.

“There are two kinds of Grumpers in this world: those that get grumped and those that do the grumping.  For ages, we Grumpers have been cast down by our circumstances, but no longer!  No longer, I say, for the evolution of Grumpers is reaching its zenith and soon our kind will achieve its truest potential.  As we have grumped about in these squalid conditions, we have perpetrated our own grumpy incarceration.  That time is over!”

King Grump raised its impressive visage to the starry sky, constellations dancing in its eyes.

“Join me, my fellow Grumpers!  I have a vision for a vast and wonderful Kingdom of Grump.  Alone we are but enemies unto ourselves, yet together we can create a world – nay, a universe! – the kind of which has never before existed!  No Grumper shall ever suffer again!  Let our airsacs sing with a voice united! Join me, my friends, join me!”

King Grump looked back down at them expectantly.  The smaller Grumpers were speechless.  

From beside King Grump a girl (being wholly alien to the poor Grumpers) giggled.  

“I think you scared them, Aux,” she said.

“Not true,” replied King Grump, looking towards her, “they are simply enchanted by my radiance.”

The Grumper trio looked back and forth between the two figures as the creatures exchanged words.  None offered a grump.

“They obviously don’t understand a thing you’ve said,” the girl chided playfully.

“Ye of little faith!”  King Grump huffed, turning back towards the wallow-holes.  “All in favor of joining my kingdom, say, “Grump!””

The Grumpers were silent.

The girl laughed again and began to float off the ground.  “I’m getting tired, Aux, let’s go back to the ship.”  She spun in the air and shot straight up.

King Grump peered over his reluctant domain for a moment.  Unimpressed, he filled his airsacs with air for one final statement.

“GRUMP!”

And with that he disappeared into the dawn, leaving the lesser Grumpers to cower bewildered in their wallow-holes amongst the early morning trails of fog.



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Thanks for reading!